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Plastic Surgery?
 
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Plastic Surgery?

 
(@Sophia Elliott)
New Member Guest

My friend who introduced me to different hair colors and crazy hair styles have often been mistaken as a man because she looks too masculine. She was my best friend and ever since high school she looks kinda boyish already. I remember her staple look back then, the Gothic look with crazy hair colors. Now that she's into working out her muscles became more define. It is totally ruining her self-esteem especially now that she's single, she's having a hard time finding a partner. She was once mistaken as a transsexual and she took that really hard. I advised her to stop working out to lessen her muscles but what she has in mind is entirely different. Her face appears elongated and rectangular shaped which is perceived as more masculine so she wants to undergo plastic surgery to improve her facial structure. As her friend I don't like her to pursue this because it's too risky. How can I talk her out of this?

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Posted : July 25, 2016 8:00 am
(@lauralei13)
Noble Member Registered

I think the issue here is probably mostly down to an issue of confidence and self esteem, and I think in cases like this plastic surgery is not the answer as it can make the person struggle to  identify properly with their new features and even cause resentment of people if they think they are only attracted to the altered features and wouldn't have liked them in their original state.
As her friend its your job to help her find the self love that she needs, you can start by helping her embrace the positives - she sounds as though she is very fit and active and that is an attractive trait, she also must be very motivated and disciplined to work out the way she does- these are all great things! Maybe she looks awesome in a crop top that shows her toned tummy? Tell her!
Another way could be for her to find ways to do her make up or hair that suit her, I play around with my hair and makeup all the time until I find stuff that suits me. If you have any friends that are good at that type of thing get them to give her some tips! Simple things like finding an eyebrow shape that suits your face can really balance out your features.
Another way could be for her to maybe start to include yoga or dance in her workout and try to hold herself in a confident and feminine way - sometimes your body language can be the thing that is informing the way people think of you!
Personally I don't think that having somewhat masculine features is going to mean that she never finds a partner, and plenty of women embrace an androgynous or masculine aesthetic and look really cool (for instance Patti Smith used to often be mistaken for a boy in her youth, the girls from the band Savages rock a really cool androgynous look, or Ruby Rose who looks awesome with a seriously fit body and boy hair!). And remember, it's not our job as a woman to be girly and conform to traditional beauty standards! (and if you are true to yourself you are more likely to find someone who loves you for who you are!).
At the end of the day though if she really thinks that surgery is the only way for her, that is her right and is only her decision to make, but I don't think it could hurt to try the above options before resorting to something so extreme!

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Posted : July 25, 2016 8:30 am