My friend persuaded me to try online dating and I found a nice guy. He's a little older than me and I found out he is a commitment minded guy and has had real relationships and isn't trying to just fool around. We spoke on the phone for a long time and set up a date. He told me he enjoyed talking to me and asked if it's ok if we talk a little more before the date. I said it is fine if we talk more. We both said we are looking for relationships not a fling. He seemed very sincere and legit. I know because I've dated many guys who were not good. He texted me a bit. Just nice things like how are you doing. He isn't blowing my phone up or anything. I did like him on the phone.
So why do I feel a little nervous in my stomach when he texts me? I really did not spot any red flags. I've dated a lot of jerks and guys who were emotionally unavailable (not men who were in commitments but ones who refused to commit to anyone). Sometimes I wonder if I have commitment phobia. Whenever I meet new guys I do tend to write them off quickly and not give it a chance and feel relieved when I call it off.
I think him being direct and not playing games is freaking me out. Do I have commitment problems ?
What's wrong with feeling nervous in the stomach when he texts? I'm not sure how that says your commitment phobic.
Maybe you're misinterpreting excitement as being scared?
You should stop worrying so much. There's nothing to say you have to settle down now. Why does anyone ever HAVE to settle down?
Exactly what Janine said, this isn't the 1950's and nobody's going to beat you with a stick if things don't work out, so what do you have to lose?
And I don't think you're afraid of commitment, more of this guy perhaps not turning out to be the person you thought he was, having been hurt in the past too, I got it when Scott and I started seeing each other, i.e. I thought he was only doing things and saying certain things to get in my pants, but it was more than that.
Just go, have fun, and let things happen. If you hit it off, a relationship might not be out of the question, if you don't then it's no big loss and I'm sure you can stay friends :]