Have A Good Old Moan....

Procrastinated on a big project for my developmental psychology class that is do tomorrow and I am kicking myself. Looks like it's going to be an all nighter for me (I live in Cali, United States, btw).

My wife and I are looking to buy a house in the next couple months so we have been searching the internet and any magazine we can find looking for a decent house in our price range. We don't mind a fixer upper but it needs the basics. She found a house she loves that is close to her job and it really is a cute house but I'm just not a huge fan of the modern look, and this house screams modern architecture. I'm sure we could change things around and make it more to look like our style but it seems like a lot of work, more than I originally wanted to put in.  😮

Just got back from a Festival with a bunch of my friends, and from visiting my family and my other friends on the way home and now I have to settle back into my routine here where I don't know anybody!

Sorry for the double post but I really need a moan today! I took on a commission I didn't really fancy doing (I hate doing portraits of adults because they often don't see themselves as they actually look so I'm always torn between creating a likeness and being flattering, but of course if you choose flattering you don't know what their personal insecurities are so you don't know which bits to edit! ) I opted for making it a good likeness and the person wasn't keen on it, I offered to fix it and they said no but apparently they are still moaning about it being unflattering to mutual friends! One of their complaints was that I painted him in his glasses, despite the fact that all the photos they supplied me to paint from were him in glasses! I'm gonna stick to pets and babies in future! (it's annoying though as I'm trying to build up a reputation here and I gave them a super low price for that very reason!).

Arrgghh, I'm so mad! Sooo when we first moved into our flat (ground floor) we were told that the previous tenant had an un-noticed boiler leak which ruined the kitchen and bathroom floor but we were reassured that it would be fixed. When we moved in all seemed fine, except for some soft patches on our kitchen floor. We didn't think much of it as it didn't really bother us but over time these patches get deeper and didn't get better. We told our property manager who was like "Oh, that's weird. I guess the concrete hasn't set properly yet" to which I was like ????? "This is concrete?!". Anyway, more time passes and our kitchen floor gets worse. The property manager gets someone to come in to have a look at it. When the guy comes he literally takes a stanley blade to my kitchen floor, rips up the lino and digs a big hole in my floor... and so we find out that the guy who was supposed to put concrete down just put some wood on top of some plastic and polystyrene! So fast forward to a couple of weeks later (we still have a hole in our floor btw), another guy comes and starts getting power tools and cuts huge chucks of our floor up. When asked if he was gonna fix it he said "It's fine, you can walk on that for now", so then we were left with chucks of wood and just polystyrene to walk on. Fast forward a few months and our floor is still like it! Not only that but the polystyrene is denting where we have to walk on it making it completely unsafe to cook food. I email the property manager to tell her this and she just says we have to wait until the guy gets approved to fix it. SO finally we get a call saying that a guy is coming out to fix our floor today! I wait in all day... gets to 4pm and nothing. Finally get a phone call from the guy who just says "I had other things to do today, so I'm not coming"!!!

We've waited months with no kitchen floor and he just tells us he's not coming after I booked the day off from work and I have no idea when it's going to get done now!

Sorry for the huge rant, I just needed to expel my anger.

Ugh, I'm so sorry, that sounds awful!

If I were you, I'd get in touch with the environmental health department, possibly your local council and the landlords association for advice. I'm pretty sure that the situation is dangerous enough for a serious complaint as it's the kitchen.

This might also help http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/going_to_court/how_to_complain

That's terrible!! Definitely get on to the people Janine advised and see what can be done - that's really unacceptable! Isn't it a bit of a fire hazard to have polystyrene in a kitchen floor anyway? Is it a flat you are in? If so does your landlord own the building or is there a management association or something you could speak to? I know it's not their responsibility to fix it or anything but if it's making things unsafe they should be able to help you push to get it sorted.

We have a similar problem where the flat downstairs didn't have a leak in their bay window sorted properly so the wood has rotted and our lintel has sunk, we're trying to get scaffold up at the mo to get the whole front of the building stripped and the lintels re-done. All because one person didn't fix something the whole building is now structurally unsafe!

That's a good point about a management company/association.

I get so angry with landlords that won't fix stuff. It's so stupid on their part. It always ends up being a lot more expensive in the long run. And when they assume it's all your fault, 'It was fine when I lived there!'. Yeah, well, that was 10 years ago and now that item is 10 years older. Duh.

I only mention it as my OH is the director of the company that manages our building (that makes him sound a lot more important than he is haha!) and I know we spend a lot of our sunday  mornings helping residents get hold of their landlords, or landlords get hold of their tenants to solve stuff that could affect the building. There are all sorts of rules in place about fire safety and stuff like that in buildings of multiple occupancy and that really doesn't sound like it's adhering to them to me!

Urgh I know, my best mate lives in a house that's an absolute death trap, her landlord is crap! The lightfitting in her kitchen fell straight out of the ceiling and nearly hit her kid once!

Second night this week I've not been able to sleep. I had really bad insomnia about 14 years ago and it took years to finally stop happening more than once a month. This is a bit worrying. Worrying about it is more likely to make it happen. So I worry about worrying about it. I'm a worrier. It doesn't help.

Do you take anything for it Janine? I found Valerian Root tablets helped me a bit (but they smell like actual poo!). I also found 5-HTP helped me somewhat too (but my insomnia is linked to anxiety and PTSD so it helps by regulating seratonin levels). Nytol knock me out guaranteed but they give me a hangover type feeling next day where I get brain-fog and want to eat everything so I avoid them. It's a horrible thing insomnia, I don't think people understand how emotionally draining it can be sometimes.

Edit: Valerian root and 5-HTP are both from Holland and Barrett

I'm afraid I won't take anything like that from Holland and Barrett etc. The levels of the active ingredients in them can be horribly inconsistent. I'd rather take something from the doctor so I know I'm getting a consistent amount of what I'm supposed to be getting.

But no, I don't. Especially seeing as I thought it was mostly gone (or maybe I should say under control?). One or two nights a month I can deal with easily. I'm also lucky that I can function well on less than 6 hours sleep most of the time. At my worst it was about 2 hours sleep max for about 8 months and then rarely more than 5 for many years after that. I now get at least 6 hours but more often 7 now and that's about perfect.

I'm hoping this is just a glitch. I have still managed to get about 5 or 6 hours sleep in the end both nights, the first night I couldn't get to sleep and last night I woke up and couldn't sleep again. I get the fidgets and I know I just can't lie there as it'll only get worse! So I get up and do something else until I start to feel beyond tired again so I know I'll fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. It's the best way I've found to deal with it in the end. Mine is usually stress related, but I don't feel more stressful than usual and other things I have that are stress related are far better right now, so in the light of the morning I'm half thinking I might have had something with lots of caffeine in and didn't realise. My caffeine related insomnia is very similar to my stress insomnia! I'm having very little with caffeine at the moment, so it wouldn't take much to cause me to end up awake.

Yeah I can understand that! I just use stuff like that coz I'm super sensitive to a lot of drugs and at best get really groggy and at worst have fainting fits and I find the herbal stuff is usually a bit less likely to cause stuff like that for me.

I have to be so careful with caffeine and sugar as well - I wake up with my heart pounding if I overdo it (especially with alcohol, I can't handle espresso martinis or vodka and coke!).

Maybe some breathing exercises or something would help? I find some kind of distraction tactic usually works for me, like trying to remember the words to a super boring poem or something. Then again my problem isn't really falling asleep, it's staying asleep for any length of time.

Yes I've tried all manner of breathing exercises and distractions. Only one breathing technique ever helped, but it's really hit and miss, more miss. Breath in for count of 3, out for 4. Repeat 6 times. Breath in for 4, out for 5. Repeat 6 times and so on. If it gets too hard to breath in for too long I know it's not going to work that time lol I guess it works as it distracts my mind a bit as I have to do light maths, but not so much it keeps me awake. When it doesn't work it's because either how my body feels or my mind still wanders.

The only distraction that ever works is just getting up and doing something else. When I say I feel fidgety, it's normally that I feel hot, itchy, restless, my mind is racing etc etc. Once I'm like that, there's no point. I just drive myself nuts and never get to sleep.

I did remember earlier that I used to try things like Nytol when I was a teenager and struggled with sleep (pretty sure they were stronger then?) and nothing really helped. So I've never bothered since and when I was at my worst, the doctor never gave me anything for it. I'm kind of glad as I've never wanted to feel like I'll just pop a pill and fall asleep. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get addicted exactly, but I probably would use it as a crutch and find myself relying on it too much and I'd rather not. (That of course is an entirely personal thing and I do not look down or judge anyone that does take pills of any kind! Just an aside in case anyone might feel like I was being judgemental in saying that. If I felt the need was great enough, I would certainly consider medicine)

I have had insomnia/ sleep pattern problems on and off for about a year, and I'm the same way, it seems like everything I try works for a little and then I'm right back to square one. I tried melatonin and that works off and on, but funny as it is having my OH read to me puts me right to sleep, not to say she has a bad voice, quite the opposite, its very soothing and I usually fall asleep in about 5 minutes. But if she is already asleep then I just watch boring you tube videos (golf especially) and usually within an hour or so im asleep again.