Have A Good Old Moan....

Aww Batty, I feel for you. It's good you can see that at the end of the day it's not his malice and purposeful doing that caused him to abandon you both. I just hope you can make through it and see a brighter future soon. Asking a therapist or counselor for help may actually help, especially your son. Take care!

Thank you for the support :). I was thinking about therapy because I am a trainwreck right now and my son is very hurt and he doesn't understand why. I am so unhappy right now.

Sounds like you are having the weekend from Hell Batty. Focus on yourself and your son, do whatever you need to do to make things better for the two of you. Let your husband sort his own stuff out, he is a grown man. You can't make people change, he has to do that himself. I would go for a movie marathon with your sons favourite films and snacks all snuggled up under a duvet. (Assuming he is young enough lol if he is 12 that would probably be his idea of torture)

Yes, pretty much. I honestly kinda doubt that he will change because I gave him a lot of chances and he had a lot of help but he refused it and he refused to sort himself out...
This sounds like a good idea :). He is almost 2 years old btw.

all in the same week I've lost my boyfriend, a massive sense of security via somebody trying to get in my house and my sanity -.-

I'm tired. So very tired. Been looking for places to live for the last two weeks and travelling to the Manchester area over and over to do so. Found somewhere thankfully, but I'm still so tired.

Boyfriend is away for two and a half weeks in NZ visiting his brother as of today, which was booked months ago before this job was available. (though, by the last couple of moans, I'm lucky to have one still! I'm sorry that has happened to you guys :/ ). So now I'm tired and lonely. Which also means I'll do my usual and happily retreat into myself and cut off the world as I always do and then end up forgetting I'm lonely as I'm also happy as Larry in my own little weird world! Then I'll be a bit resentful when he comes home... I'm an extreme introvert if I'm left to my own devices!

It also means I have to deal with all the arrangements for moving as I can't relax until I know it's done. Well, I still won't relax, but it'll be better!

Moving at this time of year sucks for my business. But Lee got an amazing job, Audio Director for Star Citizen (now officially the largest ever crowd funded project, ever!) and he's really excited and I'm excited for him... but ugh, it's rubbish. But it's still better than moving a few days before Christmas again like last year!

I feel even worse for feeling rubbish about all this. It's the best thing that could happen to Lee... but ugh it's amazingly bad timing.

Oh and also. I was feeling old when 80s fashions were coming back. Now with the 90s fashions, especially the shoes, coming back with force (a period when I was most definitely an adult) I feel ancient!

I think I'm broken. Sam was away for almost a week in Monaco (lucky sod) but that left me with Lilly and Bella and I'm pretty sure I spent Saturday to Wednesday crying unless someone was here doing things for me. Last night I started getting ill as well and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere just yet. I'm beyond exhausted, struggling to keep up with work, need to dye my hair, need to play with my poor ferrets, need to tidy the house, paint Lilly's bedroom and there's just not enough time to do anything. I literally can't do anything.

I hate the NHS so much!!

4 months ago, I went to get my repeat prescription for the contraceptive pill. Since I am 27 and had been on yasmin for approximately 9 years ( had to go on it because of severe cramps), they said it would be best to change me to a new pill. I asked the dr about a pill called levest as it is the one my sister got changed to but he said he would give me Rigevidon instead which had the same hormones as levest. Looked it up after and they are indeed the same hormones but Rigevidon is much cheaper for them at £1.89 for 3 months. Obviously the rest of the composition is different or they would cost the same.

In the first month, I began to have hair loss, increase in hair greasiness, all sorts of skin dryness, irritated eyes, and a weird lump under my chin. I went back to see the doctor and they said to stick it out for the next three months as the body takes a while to settle down after a change in hormones.
Well after that day, my symptoms worsened, my hair was falling out twice as much and even the roots felt dry. but the worst part was that my lips started cracking. The corners of my mouth had something called angular cheilitis
(or as my brother puts it " joker jowls") which is a crack and it is very painful to eat with as i couldnt open my mouth too much. I went to a private doctor and had blood tests done and everything came out fine so we came to the conclusion that it had to be the pill causing it.

Finally, I got an appointment with the NHS dr yesterday and had them change me back to yasmin. Just from one night , my lips have closed right up and should be gone in the next few days. for months, I was embarrassed to even leave my house or speak to people because my lips looked disgusting.

I have read about others who are just as unhappy with rigevidon. Just goes to show how they prefer to save money than provide people with good quality medication.

I think I'm broken. Sam was away for almost a week in Monaco (lucky sod) but that left me with Lilly and Bella and I'm pretty sure I spent Saturday to Wednesday crying unless someone was here doing things for me. Last night I started getting ill as well and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere just yet. I'm beyond exhausted, struggling to keep up with work, need to dye my hair, need to play with my poor ferrets, need to tidy the house, paint Lilly's bedroom and there's just not enough time to do anything. I literally can't do anything.

I think you should go to your GP, because it sounds like it might be the onset of post-partum depression.  *hugs*

Sam said that too, I dont think I'm depressed though

I think you should probably talk to the doctor just in case. You might not be, but I have to admit it does sound like it.

For anybody that lives near Lewisham.. If you ever need to go to a hospital for ANYTHING, avoid Lewisham hospital! I'm a regular patient there due to medical problems & the care here is absolutely disgraceful! I'm sick & tired of telling nurses how to do their poxy jobs!!!

I go into my own little world this time of year and it seems everyone wants to talk to me @ the same time. I'm off chasing the last bits of light, green, fall leaves, praying mantids & go nocturnal sometimes. I will stay up for the eclipse 😀 So I am exhilarated and exhausting  myself on trails & have no energy to just sit and chat….so I feel like I am being an arse to my loved ones 🙁 but, I am having fun doing it. It haunts me around bed time though.

I go into my own little world this time of year and it seems everyone wants to talk to me @ the same time. I'm off chasing the last bits of light, green, fall leaves, praying mantids & go nocturnal sometimes. I will stay up for the eclipse 😀 So I am exhilarated and exhausting  myself on trails & have no energy to just sit and chat….so I feel like I am being an a**e to my loved ones 🙁 but, I am having fun doing it. It haunts me around bed time though.

My honest opinion.. I wouldn't feel bad, I use to be a bit like you & feel guilty for "neglecting" loved ones as I'd rather be doing something else then sit about talking to them sometimes, but if it makes you happy then do it! You're the most important person to yourself & if you're not happy then how do you expect to be happy around others? Sometimes I think people probably think I sound selfish, but you only have one life & it's YOUR life nobody else's, so you have to live it for yourself & do the things that make you happy. As you mentioned it's a time of year thing, so it's not like you're like it all year round! So I say carry on having fun  ;D

I got a Medusa piercing a couple of weeks ago but it was off center, and when I went to get my bar switched down the piercer said he'd redo it for free. The swelling has gone down again now but it's off center again. I feel really worried and sick about going back to talk to them about it but I really can't cope with it being wonky :/