Have A Good Old Moan....

I'm stressed out about raising enough money to fly 2300 miles (plus another 2300 miles back) next month to visit my boyfriend who just got a temporary job but still doesn't seem to want to help. I've been getting huge waves of insecurities and doubts about visiting him and keep randomly bursting into tears today. Now I'm stuck juicing 3 dozen citrus fruits (a mix of limes, lemons, and oranges) by hand because I can't find the last piece to my juicer and my hand is cramping, along with me getting juice in my eye about every other second.

Oh and my dog keeps licking the carpet and scratching it and the sound of it is like nails on chalkboard to me.

I really wish I could just skip ahead to my birthday so I can dye my hair and then skip ahead to the day I'm supposed to fly out and have all my stresses and concerns just magically disappear in the meantime. I'm about ready to rip my hair out from stress and anxiety.

Looking at everyone's lovely hair pics on here is making me reeeally miss the colours. I love my job, but I don't feel like myself with "normal" hair. 🙁

I'm stressed out about raising enough money to fly 2300 miles (plus another 2300 miles back) next month to visit my boyfriend who just got a temporary job but still doesn't seem to want to help. I've been getting huge waves of insecurities and doubts about visiting him and keep randomly bursting into tears today. Now I'm stuck juicing 3 dozen citrus fruits (a mix of limes, lemons, and oranges) by hand because I can't find the last piece to my juicer and my hand is cramping, along with me getting juice in my eye about every other second.

Oh and my dog keeps licking the carpet and scratching it and the sound of it is like nails on chalkboard to me.

I really wish I could just skip ahead to my birthday so I can dye my hair and then skip ahead to the day I'm supposed to fly out and have all my stresses and concerns just magically disappear in the meantime. I'm about ready to rip my hair out from stress and anxiety.

I went through a similar thing with my OH, we only lived 200 miles away, but in the first year I spent over 3000 going to see him, and he didn't contribute monetarily. In my case it was because he wanted to work hard and wanted to be responsible in the future (so wanted to get good grades, not spend his time working too, and then the theory was he could support me later) .
But, tbh it's not a healthy set up. Every time my OH bought himself something.. I felt awful because ALL the money I was earning cleaning in my free time when I wasn't in class (which gave me a skin allergy, and a LOT of stress) was going on our relationship. It worked out in the end for us, but I'd really recommend talking to him and not putting all the stress on yourself.. long distance relationships need you both to work at it, the second year of us being long distance was so much easier because he came to see me as well as the other way around.

You need to consider if this is the right decision for you, don't get stressed out and air your concerns about being the sole contributor early. It really is very difficult, and so stressful that you shouldn't take it on 🙁 even if he just does a token gesture of what he can afford it really helps.. like.. it helps in your head?

But keep your chin up 🙁 hope things get better..

Ouf! i wanted to get a tattoo for my birthday but now that the weather gets cold i won't be able to go running so i better get a fitness bike with that money :(. Bleh idk what to do, bummer!

Also my bf screwed up our anniversary by behaving like an a-hole to me today. Good job, really....

I don't usually like to moan about, but tonight I'm really perterbed.  I am a big DIY'er.  I have taught myself to do lots of things over the years... a couple of those things were making soap and pouring my own candles.  No one taught me.  I read books and searched online and joined forums... and back in the day, email lists.  I asked lots of questions of people who were willing to offer advice, but not until I'd at least dipped my toes in the water and had done some of my own research, trial and error.  I tried and failed and tried again until I got it just right.

I've met lots of people who want to "tap the fountain" of my knowledge.  I'm only happy to share resources... but I have people who want me to teach them how to do it because they can't be bothered with learning for themselves.  I guess they figure I've done all the research and got it all figured out, so I should just be able to show them how to do it real quick so they can get on with things.  This seriously miffs me.  I literally spent 2 years of my studying and learning how to formulate bath and body care products.  I am just really tired of people hunting me down just to pick my brain... as happened tonight... someone I've not seen or heard from in probably 3 years (and didn't even really know that well to begin with) sent me a text message asking if it was still my number, and if I could teach her how to make soap so she could make soap for Christmas gifts.

It just makes me grumpy.

Okay, now I'm done.  Thanks for listening.

xx

*MM* Cheers to you! I hope you told her Thanks for thinking of you but you have too much on your plate at this time :D.  I read the Boundaries book by Cloud / Townsend... (maybe not all of it) but many wise people helped me learn to say  *ott* to people like this and it is OK shwew! Hopefully you won't put any pressure on yourself to do her work for her. Maybe give a few links & tata!  It happened to me recently too. A dear friend of mine since HS but she has lived islands away wished I check her youths grade school Essays out.  I don't teach lower level courses , & had to say that, plus I don't know much about home schooling youth either so I hope she gets more hands on help for her children.  It happened with fun crafts, beads, tie dye, antique buttons whatever at the time.  However, I do think those people wanted time with me a little bit late as I wasn't doing what they wanted to learn at the time hehe... Sigh.

I am thankful for your help here as many are and appreciate your knowledge 😀

Hope you work it out!

I'm stressed out about raising enough money to fly 2300 miles (plus another 2300 miles back) next month to visit my boyfriend who just got a temporary job but still doesn't seem to want to help. I've been getting huge waves of insecurities and doubts about visiting him and keep randomly bursting into tears today. Now I'm stuck juicing 3 dozen citrus fruits (a mix of limes, lemons, and oranges) by hand because I can't find the last piece to my juicer and my hand is cramping, along with me getting juice in my eye about every other second.

Oh and my dog keeps licking the carpet and scratching it and the sound of it is like nails on chalkboard to me.

I really wish I could just skip ahead to my birthday so I can dye my hair and then skip ahead to the day I'm supposed to fly out and have all my stresses and concerns just magically disappear in the meantime. I'm about ready to rip my hair out from stress and anxiety.

I went through a similar thing with my OH, we only lived 200 miles away, but in the first year I spent over 3000 going to see him, and he didn't contribute monetarily. In my case it was because he wanted to work hard and wanted to be responsible in the future (so wanted to get good grades, not spend his time working too, and then the theory was he could support me later) .
But, tbh it's not a healthy set up. Every time my OH bought himself something.. I felt awful because ALL the money I was earning cleaning in my free time when I wasn't in class (which gave me a skin allergy, and a LOT of stress) was going on our relationship. It worked out in the end for us, but I'd really recommend talking to him and not putting all the stress on yourself.. long distance relationships need you both to work at it, the second year of us being long distance was so much easier because he came to see me as well as the other way around.

You need to consider if this is the right decision for you, don't get stressed out and air your concerns about being the sole contributor early. It really is very difficult, and so stressful that you shouldn't take it on 🙁 even if he just does a token gesture of what he can afford it really helps.. like.. it helps in your head?

But keep your chin up 🙁 hope things get better..

Thank you for the support 🙂 it really helps. The thing that kind of bothers me is that his step dad has offered to give me some money for him but I feel awful taking his money especially when he has nothing to gain from my visits so I nicely declined the offer. Since then he has gotten a temporary job and will be earning 500 from it (he only has to work maybe one week -.-) and so far not a single plan he's told me about for that money has anything to do with us. he'll just be buying video games for the most part...I font really know why but I'm kind of hurt by it, especially since I've done a lot toward his birthday gift this year (it'll be next month right before I visit), I bought him at least 100 worth of stuff and am working on a series of 4 paintings as well...now I'm just complaining :/ he really is the most amazing man I've ever met and I know he loves me, but sometimes he can just be a bit selfish, or maybe he's oblivious? I don't know.

So my moan isnt anything huge, but its my first day of college today. going back as an adult learner. ive been before to do A levels but now im going back to study hairdressing as a career launch programme, im super nervous as nearly all of the other people on the course are younger than me (not by much but still) and theyve come up in school groups and ive never been good at making friends due to an anxiety problem i have i find it really hard to talk to people. im just worried il end up on my own all the time like i was through high school and college the first time and that people might think it weird me studying hairdressing due to the way i look since theyre all the sort of bleach blonde lots-of-extensions sort and il be the odd one out :/

okay rant over.

Do not compare having a baby to having depression. You chose to have a kid. I did not choose this.

Got really angry and paranoid over my medication, so I just stopped taking them two weeks ago. I don't feel.much different but the brain zap are awful. Just awful. They're really scaring me.

Also have to hand in my notice in an hour. My manager is amazing and I really don't want to leave but since I'm moving to my new flat next week I don't think I can handle the commute, especially since I've been.offered a.position 30 seconds from my new front door. So worried about it that I couldn't sleep properly, scared that I'll get over emotional and cry and embarrass myself 🙁

^awh big hugs, hang on in there, it'll all be fine 🙂

My moan is, it's really cold here in Bristol, it's not stopped raining in two days and a lot of places are flooded. I had to go out in the rain to go to physio which was fine, but we came home and our boiler has broken down! So no heating or hot water in this weather 🙁
Luckily we rent, so our landlord has to pay for repairs, and because we have children they are coming out this afternoon to fix it! But we're all wet and cold

Thank you for the support 🙂 it really helps. The thing that kind of bothers me is that his step dad has offered to give me some money for him but I feel awful taking his money especially when he has nothing to gain from my visits so I nicely declined the offer. Since then he has gotten a temporary job and will be earning 500 from it (he only has to work maybe one week -.-) and so far not a single plan he's told me about for that money has anything to do with us. he'll just be buying video games for the most part...I font really know why but I'm kind of hurt by it, especially since I've done a lot toward his birthday gift this year (it'll be next month right before I visit), I bought him at least 100 worth of stuff and am working on a series of 4 paintings as well...now I'm just complaining :/ he really is the most amazing man I've ever met and I know he loves me, but sometimes he can just be a bit selfish, or maybe he's oblivious? I don't know.

I once cried because my boyfriend bought himself a £40 pair of headphones and I was like -.-'. I think it does tend to be that they're oblivious rather than just selfish. He likely thinks that because it's just a one off job that he deserved the money for himself ( my OH had a similar thing when designing a website, but then he missed my birthday to 'study' (but ended up playing football) so he used the money to come see me instead lol.

But I understand where you're coming from, and he's probably just being obtuse. Funny how similar the situations are (except you'll likely have a lot more of a travel cost!)

*MM* Cheers to you! I hope you told her Thanks for thinking of you but you have too much on your plate at this time :D.  I read the Boundaries book by Cloud / Townsend... (maybe not all of it) but many wise people helped me learn to say  *ott* to people like this and it is OK shwew! Hopefully you won't put any pressure on yourself to do her work for her. Maybe give a few links & tata!  It happened to me recently too. A dear friend of mine since HS but she has lived islands away wished I check her youths grade school Essays out.  I don't teach lower level courses , & had to say that, plus I don't know much about home schooling youth either so I hope she gets more hands on help for her children.  It happened with fun crafts, beads, tie dye, antique buttons whatever at the time.  However, I do think those people wanted time with me a little bit late as I wasn't doing what they wanted to learn at the time hehe... Sigh.

I am thankful for your help here as many are and appreciate your knowledge 😀

Hope you work it out!

Aww, thanks for this!  I should read that book.  It's been on my list for a while.  I am learning more and more to say no... and I basically did.  I asked her for her email address and told her I had written a tutorial on soap making a few years ago that I could send her, but that's about as much as I could offer.  You know what?  Not even a word back.  That wasn't what she was after... so, oh well!

It's hard to learn to say no... especially when you're a people pleaser.  You don't want to hurt their feelings.  But self-preservation is a must!

Cheers for the reply... xx

*hugs* all around for violetdilusions, nixvix, TabithaBlue, Mouse & Glitterpix

I like Birkis (they are the water Birkenstocks lol I had rainbow ones a friend broke grrr...but now monochrome swirly ones...or Teva Sandals.  I am living someplace where I can't wear them year round :0 and am not sure how to feel about having to actually learn to wear "real" clothes again. On the other hand I do have a fond love of fleece or vests. If there is something fleece in the store I squeeze on it.  I could probably do fleece the rest of the year but... uh How I went from best dressed to human stuffed animal wannabe is beyond me. I want comfort and to be able to run and move in whatever I have on.  If I can't feel free in what I am wearing I can't wait to get home & take it off. 8)

I have rotten insomnia ATM and zero energy, my house looks like something blew up in it but I have no energy to clean and tidy 🙁