How do you know your friendship is over when you didn't get into a fight? I had been close with her in high school and college but after college we went our separate ways (this is not the married one I mentioned in another post)
She became very judgy if I tried to talk to her about my frustrations living at home while being in school, telling me to take out larger loans than necessary and essentially telling me I am dumb for not putting myself in larger amounts of debt than I need to. Yet I was her open ear, listening to tale after tale of her many one night stands while never passing a single word of judgment.
She also ignored my bday two years in a row when I know she knew it was my birthday (but last year we still were talking and she apologized) and this year she just didn't say a word and I know she knew. We hadn't been talking much lately though.
I guess it's really over now?
Posted : May 26, 2014 4:25 am
As you get older, your friendships evolve. It isn't like when you are a kid and you swear you will be Best Friends Forever. It doesn't mean this girl isn't your friend, but maybe she is destined to be the sort of friend you catch up with now and then, rather than a close friend and confidant.
Posted : May 26, 2014 12:21 pm
And, as with all problems, talking about it is the best option. Relationships thrive on communication. The only person who can be sure about this, is her. Talk to her about it.
Posted : May 26, 2014 1:42 pm
You don't know when a friendship is over, at least I didn't from personal experience. It either takes courage to just cut ties if it's not a good friendship, or sometimes it just does fades naturally, or it could just been a friend you speak to every now to keep in touch with. From my experience.
If you both put in the effort, the friendship will stay alive no matter how oftern you speak. I see my best friend a couple times a year, but she's still my best friend. No true friendships are one sided imo. If you're not happy with the friendship, speak to her about how you feel.
Posted : May 26, 2014 2:00 pm
Sometimes we just outgrow friendships. This has happened to me a few times - including an ex husband! Nothing nasty with any of them, just an acceptance that as we grow older we change, and sometimes those changes mean you just don't have the same links anymore. It's no-ones fault - it's just a natural part of life I think. The last friend this happened with for me, I divorced, she had a baby. Our lives became very different and we became different people with almost nothing in common and different priorities. There was no confrontation, we just drifted. Neither of us bothered making the effort to hold it together because we both knew we'd moved on. I don't bear her any ill feeling - I'm grateful for the good memories but acknowledge there won't be any more.
On the other hand I have a couple of friends who I almost never see / speak to but know we're always there for each other. One lives in New Zealand so I see her every 5 years when she's here. It's like we were never apart!
If it's a strong friendship it won't matter if you drift for a bit. If it's not, don't worry - you'll always make new friends.
Posted : May 26, 2014 4:53 pm
As you get older, your friendships evolve. It isn't like when you are a kid and you swear you will be Best Friends Forever. It doesn't mean this girl isn't your friend, but maybe she is destined to be the sort of friend you catch up with now and then, rather than a close friend and confidant.
That's so beautifully-put, @Wicked_Pixie... just had to mention that I agree with this 100%, so true.
Posted : May 26, 2014 5:05 pm
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