At this place I work with a guy and a girl and since day one I've been nice to the girl and she's been really passive aggressively hating me for no reason to the point of pretending not to hear me or invalidate things I say.
I've posted about her before.
Anyhow she had a death of a friend last week and was absent because of it. I feel bad. She emailed our supervisor and the secretary. Told other people from different departments. Told the guy we work with on a team. And told him to "make sure he lets me know". Basically even though we work on a team she intentionally told everyone but me and just asked someone else to give me the news.
I figured since she can't even tell me herself but tells everyone else around me I just shouldn't say anything to her. Am I wrong?
*i am usually the type who would say I am sorry. But I know she doesn't like to talk to me. I feel bad for her, I really do. But I thought it's better not to say anything to her because she dislikes me and didn't even tell me herself. I am not trying to sound selfish. I just want to know if I did the right or wrong thing in the circumstances.
Posted : April 16, 2014 8:34 pm
No she probably feels that she isn't close enough to tell you herself. The death in her family really isn't about you, sorry to sound harsh but it is her business and her choice about who she tells. You might feel singled out but she has just lost her friend.
She hasn't not told you either, she's told someone to let you know about it before you make up excuses about her absence. It may be too hard for her to tell you, you never know it may be hard for her as you could remind her of her friend.
Sorry but I think it's a really selfish way to think about her friend passing, all you're doing is bringing it back to yourself.
Posted : April 16, 2014 8:41 pm
No she probably feels that she isn't close enough to tell you. The death in her family really isn't about you, sorry into sound harsh but it is her business and her choice about who she tells. You might feel singled out but she has
She hasn't not told you either, she's told someone to let you know about it before you make up excuses about her absence. It may be too hard for her to tell you, you never know it may be hard for her as you could remind her of her friend.
Yes I figured it's better to just stay out of it. I am usually the type to go out of my way to give people wishes and things but it seems like she doesn't want me to.
Posted : April 16, 2014 8:42 pm
I think you've totally missed what Meeshy was saying.
It's not nice at all for you to stay out of it. She didn't keep you out of the loop, she just doesn't feel close enough to you to let you know personally, hence why she asked someone to make sure they let you know.
Her losing her friend is not about you. It's about her. You can make the effort to say you're sorry for her loss. Even if she didn't ask for someone else to tell you, even if she didn't bother to let you know at all, her loss is not about you, and you should still tell her you're sorry for her pain.
Unless you aren't sorry for her pain. Then don't say anything.
Posted : April 17, 2014 6:33 am
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