Bleached my virgin hair yesterday - what are my options now?

My hair now:

What I ultimately want:

As hair lightens it goes through shades of orange and yellow as the natural pigments are revealed, before it gets to the lightest blonde. It would be impossible to get from a level 3 brown to a level 10 blonde like the pic in one go without causing a huge amount of damage.
It will take months to get there safely, you need to wait at least a month between processes, 6-8 weeks ideally. It sounds like your colourist is a good one and is taking it slowly to protect the integrity of your hair.
You can definitely keep toning it at home as long as you avoid products that require peroxide. Do bear in mind that if you have a lot of blue/purple dye in your hair at the next appointment it is likely to go greenish when bleached. So either fade it before then, or just stick to purple shampoo/conditioner. Apply to dry hair and leave on for half an hour or so for maximum effect.
I think it is a really nice golden blonde and definitely an OK colour to live with for just 6 weeks. When going from very dark to very light you always have to put up with some less desirable colours along the way, this is a much nicer shade than the gingery orange many have to endure.

Thank you, this makes me feel better!

I really wasn't sure if this was a matter of toning or not. I definitely don't want it to go green in 6 weeks. So as long as I use toning shampoos, and not actual toner, I should be ok?

It isn't terrible, I just feel like she mis-lead me so I walked in with an expectation for at least walking out with ashy hair, even if it wasn't that light. It wasn't until the end when she explained I'd have to come back and spend another $250 to get it where I wanted. I knew I wouldn't get it platinum, but I thought the yellow could be toned out more.

So if she lightens my hair again in 6 weeks, how damaging will that be?

Also - can anyone comment on this? Should I try it to get rid of some yellow? http://www.amazon.com/Tressa-Watercolors-Maintenance-Violet-Shampoo/dp/B004CADNKI

Thanks!

Your colourist wouldn't be able to predict how quickly/easily your hair would lighten until she did a strand test, every clients hair is different.
To get an ash colour you need to bleach to the level above, so you could have had a light ash brown on that base. Since you asked for platinum, the colourist has not added extra layers of colour that will make your final goal more difficult/damaging to achieve.
Your colourist seems to be taking great care of your hair, by going for highlights next only half the hair is getting bleached to minimise damage. I would expect she will want to do more highlights in a further 6 weeks.
If you want an all over flat colour, you should mention this to her, she is obviously trying to give you a natural looking multi tonal blonde.
Impossible to predict how damaging a process will be, slowly and gradually is the safest way though. All lightening procedures are damaging, and bleach damage is permanent and cumulative. There is no way to go from dark to light without any damage.
Good violet shampoos are Bonacure, Shimmer Lights,Fudge. Try on a strand, you will see a huge difference.

Ugh...

Every time I look in the mirror I cringe.

Should I call my stylist up and ask her to tone the yellow out, or is it a lost cost? Am I stock with GOLD hair for right now? I feel embarrassed to be out in public.

I bought some purple shampoo but didn't try it yet. I'm afraid my hair is too dark. There are pieces that processed longer (like the inside layers on the back of my head) are almost white. Top layers she did last and then they got washed out, thats why they're so golden I think. I'm frustrated!

If you want platinum you have to go through gold stages, no way round that.
You can tone it if you must, but as I already explained it will make going lighter more difficult and more damaging, also you will be going much darker. Again, no way round that. Your stylist doesn't have magic products that will avoid these issues.
Maybe actually try the products I have recommended instead of just moaning? Will it give you white hair, no. Will it take some of the gold out and make it a colour you can live with, yes.
Your hair is lovely, it isn't embarrassing at all, you just have really unrealistic expectations.

To get from my virgin dark brown/dyed dark brown black to the colour in my avatar pic took over a year. I never lightened more than a couple of shades at a time in order to protect the integrity of my hair. We get people on this site trying to go white in a hurry all the time, they inevitably fry their hair and end up having to cut it all off. To me, a few weeks of golden blonde is better than a pixie crop.

hi Honestly, I would just keep it like that. Did your hair stylist say you can tone down the golden with ash toner? Meanwhile generally I heard around that bleached hair goes back to bleached even if you die over it but sometimes it can stick...I think it's all a matter of how you do it. If I were you I would just leave it alone because it really does not look that bad and looks very healthy...you don't want to risk that integrity...

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not just moaning and complaining.

I was waiting on the purple shampoos because my hair still felt pretty dry even after not washing for a couple days. I finally did it and left it on... It did help. I mixed Tressa Watercolors in Violet Wash with Shimmer Lights. It made my hair feel pretty dry though.

You see, I had a test strip done, and it came out very light, like the inside of a banana peel. My colorist and I both discussed that I would not be white after the first time but she did assure me I would not be yellow, that she'd tone me. Not only do I think she did not let my hair bleach long enough (because some pieces that bleached longer got very very light), but she toned me with beige, not violet as I had expected. If toning makes lightening again in the future an issue, then I get that. I just wish I had been told. I wasn't emotionally prepared to have GOLD hair.

I'm also a total newbie to doing anything with color in my hair - I just am anxious to not mess it up. Now that I'm in between my natural hair and my goal hair, I am even more anxious to get there as quickly, successfully, and healthily, as possible.

Thanks for everyone's great input.

Don't worry Katie! I know how it feels I don't think you are complaining. I on the other hand have a had a horrible experience. I am naturally blonde and before two years ago never touched dye to my hair. Unfortunately an experiment went wrong. I died my hair dark (it was semi-permenant) but it turned pink in patches somehow and stuck to my hair. Unfortunately, my school did a horrible thing and bleached my hair which turned extremely brassy and was extremely damaged and I had to cut it shoulder length. It is now over a year and a half and I have from hairdresser to hairdresser and their comment is still that my hair is incredibly dry and damaged. On top of it sheds like a madmen because of the damage:(
so just be really careful about dying you again because I have been on the otherside of a dye job gone very wrong.

Oh btw DO NOT be embrassed to go out in public. You're probably just shy because it's a big change! Honestly it doesn't look bad at all! It really looks quite nice...
Honestly, I would wait a while unless your hair stylist gives you the heads up to color it again because that can go wrong too.

" On top of it sheds like a madmen because of the damage:("

Pleeease stop repeating this as it's NOT TRUE. Hair does not, and can not, shed because of damage. Shedding is the natural process hair goes through as it's grown it's full life and then drops out. We can lose 100 or more hairs a day totally naturally and this is what you have been told is happening to you, by a doctor.

Hair CAN break because of damage, but that is a whole different ball game and doesn't appear to be something that is going to happen to the OP as her hairdresser seems to understand lightening slowly to avoid damage.

If one lightens their hair slowly to try to minimize the damage, how does one ensure the outgrown blends?  If one lightens their hair every 6 weeks, then won't the 6 weeks worth of roots always be darker?
On the other hand when the roots are virgin and lighten easier, is there a way to bleach out old hair color on the ends to blend all the color?